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09 January 2009

You Want Me to Put WHAT, WHERE?!

So, David and I attended our very first prepared childbirth class Wednesday night at French Hospital. As some of you may know, we have two choices on where to deliver our baby. Sierra Vista is a typical hospital and French has a family birthing center. When we toured Sierra Vista, we were a little put-off by the fact that there was a possibility that I would have to share a room with another new mom after delivery. At French, you have your very own room where you deliver and recover in the same room. There is even a little chair that folds out into a twin bed for David to sleep on so he can be with us through the entire time of our stay. The birthing center is very cozy feeling and they practice a lot of different methods for having a better delivery.

Even though David had been up since 4:30 (and had gotten little sleep from our late arrival home the night before), I was able to convince him to go to the 6:30 - 8:30 class with me. After some basic introductions and a quick discussion on our expectations for the course, which included pizza and massages from the men in the crowd, we got down to business. And, when I say got down to business, I mean it! Our instructor, who I must stress is really wonderful, pulled out charts and diagrams like it was her job. Ha - I guess it is, actually. She went through the book and explained all the terminology that has ALWAYS confused me when I hear it on tv, like when they say, "She is 3.5cm dilated, 80% effaced, at a stage -3." Now I, sort of, know what they mean!

The best part came towards the end of the class when she drew a picture on the dry erase board of two smaller circles on the top and bottom and a larger one in the middle. Then, she went on to talk about the tissue surrounding those holes. I won't go into detail, but I WILL tell you that it sounded a whole lot like this:

Just wait, it gets worse! So, next week, we are going to be practicing labor positions. Our instructor got on the floor and put her legs up in a typical birthing position and said, "I hope I don't see any of you on the ground like this!" She did tell us (and I've also read about it) that the typical birthing position is not really the best laboring position to use, but it is the most common due to epidurals making the mother pretty much immobile. I have not fully decided on whether or not I am going to get an epidural, and would like to try as much as I can without one, but the alternative positions very much scare a modest girl like me. I am willing to get in the tub to help ease the pain of contractions, but when our instructor suggested giving birth doggy-style, I'll have to admit, I got A LOT scared!


Mom Cooper said...

Dad said to forget the oil,or the can of Pam, he's going to bring some WD40!!!!! What a thoughtful Dad you have. Me, I say give me anything to ease the pain, especially if you have a 9lb.2oz. baby girl. You will do fine but if you need someone who thinks they're keeping you calm by smacking your face your Dad can help there too. (He says they were love taps but he got so excited they turned into downright smacks)!!

Amanda said...

HAHA! Let's make sure that Dad doesn't give Dave any fatherly advice for helping out with the delivery of our baby. And, Dear Lord, help me if she's 9lbs! I got to see the drawing of how big 10cm dilation is, and it is not nearly big enough. Can't it get any bigger?

Lauren said...

Oh my gosh Amanda, your Mom's comment had me hysterical. MY Dad would be one to bring the WD-40 too!!!!

This blog was great and petrifying at the same time. As for the "doggy style" suggestion? All I can think of is the line from Knocked Up... "no, you can not do me like a DOG"... "it's not like we have to be outside". HAHAHAHA.

I can't wait until this little girl is 16 and we can tell her these stories...and Aunt Lauren and Uncle Kiel slip her margaritas under the table. :)

Coco Stiletto said...

That's' it. I'm getting a kid from Cambodia. Anything I use to stir fry vegetables with shouldn't be in the same equation as my lady parts!

Marissa said...

It's not that bad. I was so worked up over it and honestly, it's the least of all the baby-related evils. Some people will obviously disagree with me, but I thought giving birth was much better than enduring 9 months of pregnancy (and horrible related ailments) or being sleep deprived after the birth. If all I had to do was give birth I could have 5 kids.... But since pregnancy and sleepless nights go with each of them, I'm thinking I'll be good with 3.... :) You'll do great - don't let those charts and videos scare you.

Irma said...

It will not be what you never is. But what a wonderful experience you are in for. birth is the easy part. P.S. I have some baby oil if that will help!