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14 July 2011

Let's Put That Wrench Back in the Toolbox

I really never thought I would be able to say this, but Olivia has turned into a really good sleeper.  {This is me shouting from the rooftops - I AM SO BLESSED!}  Honestly though, I put my hours in for the first year and a half of her life, but she is totally paying me back these days with sleeping until almost 9:00 every morning. {!!!} That being said, every once in a while, something happens that throws a wrench in her sleeping pattern.

We got one of those wrenches last night.  {Full moon, perhaps?} At around 3:30,  I woke up to Olivia crying.  Sometimes she fusses for just a few seconds when she rolls over, but this was different.  My guess is that she had a nightmare.  I rolled over to check the video monitor and in the {short} time it took me to do that, she was already up and out of her crib!  I jumped out of bed as quickly as my round belly would allow me and met her as she was trying to open her bedroom door.

I brought her into the bed with us and gave her some snuggles and hoped that she would quickly fall back asleep.  That didn't happen.  In fact, that never happens.  She was wide awake.  I took her back into her room and rocked her for awhile and put her back into her crib awake around 4:40.  By the time I got back to the room, she had rolled over and was asleep.  She slept until 9 this morning, but was crabby all day.

I put her down for her nap this afternoon and, you guessed it, she was up and out of her crib before I even got to the kitchen.  I put her back in her crib and promised her a special treat if she stayed in her crib the whole time.  After about 10 minutes of laying there, she started sobbing.  I went in and ended up rocking her until she fell asleep.  I put her back down only for her to wake up an hour later.  I had a list of at least 8 things I wanted to get done during her nap time, but once I went back in and saw that she was still so sleepy, I thought, forget about it.  Because, you know what?  She is growing up TOO. DARN. FAST.  I picked her up and cradled her in my arms for another 45 minutes or so.  As uncomfortable as it might have been on my belly, my heart {and hers} were comforted.

These days I have huge waves of overwhelming guilt.  She has no idea how much her world is about to be turned upside down with her new baby sister.  WE have no idea how much OUR world is about to be turned upside down with her new baby sister.  I know she is going to love her so much, but I still feel guilty.  Will I be able to give BOTH of them the love and attention they deserve?  Will she resent me for bringing another baby into our lives?  Will she act out in an attempt to get attention?

So, I am cherishing these little moments that I have with her now.  Because, like I said, she is just growing up too quickly.

Need proof?  She tinkled in the potty today for the first time.  {Well, she's done a few little drops before, but this one was for real!}  She doesn't quite have the concept down of what it feels like before she has to go, but she does understand the concept of getting a lollipop when she's done!

Hooray for my big girl!
Now, please sleep through the night tonight.

Happy Thursday from the Central Coast!


Irma said...

Your don't have a real idea of how our world is about to change with too. Olivia will figure out what her role is...that is the 'big sister' and come to cherish her little sister. You don't have to worry about dividing the love you have for Olivia to the other daughter...your love will multiply!

Irma said...

Two...not too!

Mom Cooper said...

What a big girl going tinkle in the potty even if it is just a few drops. You have to start with something. She will get it eventually because she won't like being the only one still wearing diapers in KDG.